Clankie's Perfect Pumpkin Pie (PPP)

This is my recipe for perfect pumpkin pie. The biggest difference from a standard pumpkin pie recipe is in the preparation, but the results will justify the extra work. You will need a pie plate, pie crust (I prefer either a graham cracker or homemade crust), a double boiler, a mixing bowl, and a sturdy whisk. If you don't have a double boiler, you can place a metal mixing bowl over a soup pot with water in it. I also always recommend buying organic, and if anyone wants to know the incredibly irritating process of preparing a pumpkin pie completely from scratch, ask and ye shall receive.

Attack of the clones

If you were to ask me today what the single most important skill for any grower to know, I wouldn't hesitate before I would say asexual propagation.  Don't get me wrong, everything else is very important.  However, if you can't clone, you will either be forever growing from seed, or relying on outside sources for your genetics.  Growing from seed is also time consuming, and plants from seed are much harder to control in terms of size than plants grown from clone.  That said, I love growing from seed, as I like new things, and the element of discovery that growing from new seed stock brings to my garden is very welcome.  On the other hand, I grow a few strains from clone, and always have a few mother plants lurking around in the veg room.  First, plants grown from seed often take 4 weeks or longer to be ready for flowering, while a clone cut from a healthy vegetative plant can actually be rooted and ready to induce flowering (depending on plant size desired) within 3 weeks or less.  Secondly, there is something to be said for reliability, and if you find a strain that performs well for you and that you are extremely satisfied with the final product thereof, I say keep it forever.  Often, if you find yourself having to ask whether or not you want to let a strain go, I say keep it, because if it was that good in the first place, you will likely come to regret losing it.  Growing from seed can (depending on the breeder you use) lead to unwelcome and costly results, even if you have an excellent setup.  Growing from clones of your own plants, on the other hand, you already know exactly what you are getting into before you start flowering.  There are multiple ways of cloning, I am going to cover my two favorite ones, the two that have worked the best for me in the past and that I have the most experience with. 

Making your own sweetener

There's a substantial amount of dialogue available on the importance of carbohydrates during a plant's flowering cycle, and there's a substantial cottage industry based off of selling you products to carbo-load your plants.  However, whether you garden using organic or synthetic nutrients, you can very easily create your own sweetener using organic molasses and distilled water. 

Overgrowing Big Marijuana

So, if there's one thing that I hate, its shitty weed, and so you can imagine how I feel about the tidal wave of shittily grown marijuana that has currently flooded my great home state since the legalization of medical marijuana.  Up until recently, commercial, Walmart grade cannabis was not the norm in this state; quite to the contrary, Colorado has generally had much of the best cannabis in the country.  This much was made obvious to me any time I would travel outside of Colorado, by the astonishment and wonder that pulling out a bag of Colorado kind bud would usually garner.  However, with legalization came the 'wonders' of American socialism, complete with handing over the regulation of an industry to the most prominent and established members of that industry.

Dab fever

So dabs are the big thing now.  Which for the uninitiated refers to (usually) vaporizing vaporizing a small amount (or dab) of hash and then inhaling the smoke with some kind of waterpipe.  I did this around 1000 times at the cannabis cup a couple weeks ago, so I have a reasonable impression of it throughout the varied qualities and varieties available.  My professional opinion is that its all right, but overrated.  There's also a great number of things that I don't particularly like for it.  The first would be that you can make extracts with any kind of flower or leaf product that contains marginal amounts of THC, regardless of the actual condition of the plant matter.  The leaf that got blasted into your BHO could have powdery mildew or bud rot, it could have been sprayed with any kind of pesticide or foliar feed, and you can almost bet your ass it won't have been properly flushed.  It seems like this is a perfect way for the dispensaries that already thrive on shoddy business practices (i.e. selling shitty outdoor herb as 'organic medicine') to further prey on their customers due to the unregulation and unaccountability that is prevalent throughout the industry; while charging their customers an absolute arm and leg for something that they would otherwise very likely have to throw away.  Dabs also don't seem to last that long, and don't seem to me to be well suited for my general style of herb smoking, which is a little more lazy, and preferably does not involve a butane torch.

I've made BHO a few times now and I think my favorite extractions are still those made using dry ice.  The oils might be more potent, but nothing is more of a pleasure to smoke to me than pure resin glands.   

Clankie's Cannabutter

So, you have some extra herb, and you want to make cannabutter? Do you want a pictorially illustrated guide, but don't want to use one of the approximately 7,000 already on the internet? Well, you're in luck, because cannabutter is one of the foundational ingredients for cooking with cannabis, most frequently used in baked goods and candies; both of which I will be discussing at great length in this Gob. While I will be getting into the recipes for goodies later, when building a house you start with the foundation, and so without any further ado I give you my recipe for cannabutter. Recommended dosages may vary, so feel free to copy my method, but take heed when copying my exact recipe. I make medicinal edibles for people who need serious pain relief and sleep aid from their medication.

First, you will need some supplies. For my method, you will be required to have a double boiler (first figure), or the ability to fashion one out of a mixing bowl and a saucepan (second figure). You will also need a whisk, a silicon spatula, a candy thermometer, some cheesecloth, and two containers to pour the butter into. Oh, and weed and butter. Don't forget those. Make sure all your utensils are incredibly clean and dry. 

I will be starting with 50g of K.O. Kush F4 (Sannie's Seeds) that I grew recently. I have dried them completely, then pulverized them using the freshly cleaned bottom of a shot glass. It is important that your bud be both dry and fairly loose or crushed. However, you want to be sure to contain as much of the product as possible, so make sure you crush it in a container that will contain the fine particulates that will be produced. I use a large 'glass' baking dish.

Put between 1 and 2 inches of water into the bottom of the double boiler, and set it on the stove on medium-high heat. Place the butter (I will be using 1 pound of unsalted organic butter) into the top of the double boiler. Once the butter has completely melted, slowly mix in the cannabis, making sure to evenly saturate and distribute the leaf throughout the melted butter. Once all the herb is mixed in with the butter, position the candy thermometer to get an accurate reading on the butter (usually 180-190°f) and get ready to do some waiting.

It is important to cook the butter for a fairly long period of time, stirring every 10-15 minutes. As long as you don't cook it too hot (almost impossible when using a double boiler) there are no downsides to cooking it past its point of readiness. Now, for me, the easiest way to determine this readiness is when the leaf matter no longer floats in the butter, but when not stirred completely settles to the bottom. There is also a definite change in the consistency and visual appearance of the leaf material as more and more of the essential oils are absorbed by the butter, and when done will be most similar to boiled, chopped spinach.  It looks very similar to leaf after it is processed for ice water hash (guide soon to come.)  It usually takes between 1.5-2 hours to reach this stage, depending on the herb used.

Now, very carefully and over a low heat, you will heat your butter up to approximately 250 degrees. This will activate the thc throughout the butter so that you do not need to do so in the cooking process, as many food products will not reach that temperature. Try to sustain this temperature briefly, just a couple minutes, and then place back into the bottom of the double boiler. It is now ready to be strained. 

 

I position a large square of folded cheesecloth (obtainable in either the cookware or canning section of most grocery stores) over a tupperware container at least twice the size of the butter you are making. Pictured is a 4 cup glass container. Make sure to squeeze out the leaf material in the cheesecloth, I press mine against the side of the container with the spatula, as it is quite too hot to handle with bare hands.  Try to squeeze every last drop from the butter, but be carefull not to rip the cheesecloth, as getting a bunch of nasty leaf in your butter will really be a bummer.

Now, simply let cool in the fridge overnight, and voila! Ganja buttter! Use sparingly, tends to be quite strong.

Can I grow cannabis? How do I obtain cannabis to grow?

Yes!  You can!  If you live in Colorado, you can even do it legally!  According to our fine state laws, anyways.  No matter how much space you have available, no matter what your situation, there is a method of cannabis cultivation you can use.  Modern advances in LED and CFL lighting have created a pool of technology from which any person can cultivate at least a small amount of cannabis for personal use.  There are many resources available for setting up grow rooms and spaces, and I would rather direct you towards those, but if you think you have a particularly difficult space or situation, I would be glad to offer my direct input.  I would personally direct you towards this fantastic book that every cannabis cultivator should read.

Once your cultivation environment set up, you will need to determine how you want to obtain your cannabis plants.  There are basically two ways to start, you can either obtain clones (small vegetative plants cut from a {usually} proven female) or you can obtain seeds.  While some people (who seem to all work for dispensaries) will try to warn people away from buying seeds, this is actually my preferred cultivation method.  It is difficult to verify the quality and genetic lineage of clones, especially as our current MMJ environment has led to a grotesque proliferation of unscrupulous business practices.  Most of the best clones I have obtained have been through contacts in the cultivation scene, rather than through dispensaries.  Dispensaries have given me powdery mildew, spider mites, thrips, and a ton of clones that were either accidentally or intentionally mislabeled.  Cannabis seeds are very easily obtained through the magic of the internets, and there are at least five very reliable seed banks that you can order from that will ship discreetly to the United States.  Risk is minimal (worst case you will not get your seeds, and most seed banks offer a guaranteed shipping method in which they will reship in case of customs interference) and you know exactly what genetics you are getting.  The other mitigating factor is time, as growing from seed will usually put you two-three weeks behind growing from clone, for your first cycle.  After that, you can certainly keep clones from your plants, and only obtain additional seed as you desire more variety in your garden.  Seeds or clones, there are positive and negative factors associated with both, and it is really a matter of preference if you have ready access to clones.  If not, however, then one of the many internet seed banks can help you in getting set up with your chronic.

Hellos and Introductions

Hi, my name is Clankie, and I would like to fondly welcome you to my little corner of the internet.  First off, I would like to introduce you to my little concept of cannarchy.  A combination of two of my favorite things, cannabis and anarchism.  Now, lest we get too political, I will briefly clarify that when I talk about anarchism I am talking about the real thing, the philosophy that no man, regardless of any social standing or economic class, has the right to impose his will on or otherwise exploit his fellow man.  Cannabis, I don't think I should really need to introduce you folks to, otherwise than to say that it is legal here in Colorado to grow and to smoke, and that's all you need to know.  I combine these two things in Cannarchism, the philosophy that cannabis is something that should be shared from person to person, and not some tool for the forces of greed to use to exploit people who either have a medicinal need or recreational enjoyment for the good herb.  This means no hording clones, no excessive pricing, no exploitative growing practices such as not flushing or early harvesting, and above all, no growing low quality product.  The foundation of cannarchism is that anyone can (and should!) grow their own weed, but if you aren't able to, you shouldn't have to either get shitty product or pay through the nose for quality buds.  The best way to rectify this situation is by spreading the power of growing around, until dispensaries can no longer compete simply by exclusively offering inferior products. 

The purpose of this blog is to educate people about how to grow, process, cook with, and do just about anything you could want to do with the cannabis plant.  Please feel free to use the comments section to ask any questions you mights have, I will be happy to answer them if I can, or will seek out an answer if I can't.  I would love to entertain questions about growing, smoking, or general questions about the plant or its medicinal benefits.  I have been growing for over a decade, and smoking for two, and I do enjoy sharing my experience.  There will be a large amount of recipes and pictorial guides, as well as some general growing shop talk.  I will try to keep this forum open, but will absolutely not tolerate any kind of hatin' on my beloved Mary Jane.  If you want that discussion, have it somewhere else with someone who is interested.