Clankie's Perfect Pumpkin Pie (PPP)

This is my recipe for perfect pumpkin pie. The biggest difference from a standard pumpkin pie recipe is in the preparation, but the results will justify the extra work. You will need a pie plate, pie crust (I prefer either a graham cracker or homemade crust), a double boiler, a mixing bowl, and a sturdy whisk. If you don't have a double boiler, you can place a metal mixing bowl over a soup pot with water in it. I also always recommend buying organic, and if anyone wants to know the incredibly irritating process of preparing a pumpkin pie completely from scratch, ask and ye shall receive.

• 1 can condensed milk (sweetened if you like a really sugary pie)
• 2 eggs
• 1 16 oz can pumpkin
• 1/2 cup (more or less to taste) brown sugar
• either pumpkin pie spice or 1 tsp each cinnamon, nutmeg, and ground cloves (also traditionally smaller amounts of allspice and mace, if you have those)
• 2-3 grams of hash, I prefer to use dry ice sift, as dry ice leaves no trace behind (finely crumbled)

1. So break the eggs into a cup, preheat the oven for 350, put the pumpkin in the mixing bowl, and heat the condensed milk in the double boiler until it is at least 110-120 degrees
2. Add the crumbled hash, whisking thoroughly
3. Add the brown sugar, continuing to heat and whisk until the brown sugar is totally dissolved into the milk
4. Add the spices, and remove from heat until the temperature of the milk has cooled to 150 degrees (it must be below 158 to avoid the egg solidifying in the milk)
5. Once the milk is below 158 degrees, whisk in the eggs until completely mixed
6. immediately whisk the hot milk-egg solution into the pumpkin, until uniform consistency.
7. Empty the bowl into your pie shell, and bake for 40-50 minutes.

I like to serve this with a little homemade whipped cream for garnish. It serves 8 comfortably. In contrast to a traditional pumpkin pie, not only will this one be substantially more fluffy and smooth, it will also fuck you up. Happy Thanksgiving!